Are you reunited? Do you hope to be? Are you thinking of reunion but not quite ready? Are you just not interested in reuniting? What are your thoughts on reunion, the experiences you’ve already had in reunion, and your hopes for reunion in the future.
I am reunited. I got in touch with my natural mother three years ago (Seriously? It’s been that long?). Then I got in touch with my natural father two years ago. We met up a few times, and it was wonderful. I met my natural mother this past spring, over two years after I first reached out to her. Over the summer, I met my sisters for the first time. It was amazing. I don’t consider myself in “reunion” with them, I consider myself to have a relationship with them. I was working towards that with my natural parents but for some strange reason, I never quite felt that way when it came to them.
I’m currently sort of ignoring the giant elephant in the middle of the room (my natural parents) and focusing on my sisters. Reunion is a roller coaster ride and I needed a break from everything for a bit. I’m sure eventually something will change, but right now I’m just making a real effort with my sisters and things are working out really well. I’ve learned to adjust my expectations a lot. I’ve learned that the lower my expectations are, the happier I am with the whole thing.
I no longer freak out if I don’t hear from someone. It happens. I forgot to send an email last week. That was my bad. It happens, and I think I realized just how easy it is to forget something like that. I don’t expect to hear from my natural parents so I’m pleasantly surprised when I do. I still think about them from time to time, but I might go a few days without a thought even popping into my mind. I’m back to my pre-reunion mindset of thinking about them. Now I have faces and names in my heads whereas before I just had big questions marks. That’s been really nice.
My relationship with my adoptive family has changed. I see things more clearly with them. I appreciate the good things that my adoptive parents have done for me and I’m more comfortable in my own skin. It’s been great for me and I’m glad that I’ve had this chance to get to know “me” better.
I’m at a transition point in my life right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I don’t know how things are going to change. I know that I’m good with things right now. I’d like them to be different for sure, but I’m OK with how they are now. I’m focusing on living in this moment instead of wishing my life away.