My life has been very busy these last few weeks. I knew it would be. The holiday season always seems to sneak up on me and then turn around and bite me in the behind. There’s always so much do to and so little time to get it all done. Last year was particularly bad but we found a way to get through it. This year, I figured I’d be better prepared.
I’ve been working on focusing on other things. There are gifts to be bought, phone calls to work in, conversations to think about having, cards to be sent, addresses to gather, and food to bake. We gave up on Christmas cards this year and the decorations aren’t our best by far this year. The tree was bought late and was decorated even later. It doesn’t feel like Christmas Eve but that’s OK. In some ways I was more put together last year on the outside but falling apart on the inside. I think I’d rather have people thing I’m a bit scattered (but be doing OK mentally) and I much prefer how this year is going.
I have so much to be thankful for this year. It was hard to work through the tough stuff, but I’m finally in a place where I can say I’m happy with my life. There’s always something that I wish could be better, but overall, things are looking up. It always amazes me how much things can change in a year. Time has a way of marching on and continuing forward no matter what.
I can’t get over how much has changed this past year. I guess I felt that way last year too. At this time last year I was amazed at how quickly things felt like they had fallen apart. This year, I’m amazed that I not only met my natural mother (twice!) but I also got to meet my sisters and we’re working on building up a relationship. I’m at peace with everything (or in as much peace as I’m going to be) and I’m looking forward to the future. Next year is going to be a big year for me. I’m moving out of my parents’ home. I’m getting married. I’m starting a new life with a wonderful name (and getting a new name too!). I’m pretty excited!
I’m going to try to keep this past year in the back of my mind for perspective. At this time last year, things were so different and I really didn’t know how things were going to get better. Yet somehow, they did. Not only did they get better, but they exceeded every expectation I ever had. My life has pretty much done a 180 in many ways. Time has marched on and left me in a better place. Good things will continue to come through the new year and I can’t wait to see what surprises life has in store for 2013!